I have had plenty of time to think this week. My husband and two boys have been away taking care of my daughter's house and dog while she and her sisters have been in Florida with my mom. The idea of being alone for a week was amazing. I would wake early as I usually do and work on my manuscript, go to Mass, then head to work. About 4:30 each day, I would get a call from my dad about where we should meet for dinner, close the store, enjoy time with my him and then head home to the dog and more writing time...and of course, Vanderbilt Baseball. Truly, I did enjoy a couple of days of the peace and quiet. But in reality, I MISS MY KIDS. I truly feel that they are just a huge part of my writing process. For some reason, when they are here and I have to squeeze in quiet time and work around all the "things" they "have to" do, I get more done. The idea of writing in a little cabin in the woods is just great, but the reality is that I believe I need the craziness. Who knew?
This idea/reality living is handed down from generation to generation in many families. I hear it all the time. People tell me, "If I could be alone for a week, I could..." and "If I had the money, I would..." or "You know what we should do, ship everyone off and ..." Well, I'm just saying, that some of us, probably most of us, just work better amidst the crazy daily grind of life.
I've been reading quite a bit about our Catholic way of life and by the way, being Catholic/Christian is a way of life. I know that without all the Sacraments and Sacramentals that make up my Catholic way, I would probably be okay for a couple of days but I would miss all the "things" that have become a part of who I am much in the same way that I MISS MY KIDS. I would miss all the little things that bring me closer to Christ. I love praying the Rosary and the Stations of the Cross. I love visits in the Chapel and praying the novena to St. Joseph. And speaking of St. Joseph, I read about the life of St. Andre this week and realize that Joseph is an awesome intercessor for healing as well as many other needs. I love the daily readings, morning prayer and being able to receive Jesus in Holy Communion every day. I love asking St. Anthony to help me find the things I've lost. I love lighting the candle before I write in front of the Blessed Mother statue that was my grandmother's. I could go on and on but the bottom line is that I love my faith. I love the journey. I love the Catholic way of life. And, I barely touch all it has to offer. I still have a lot to learn about all that has been handed down.
This idea that I could write more, that I could be more effective and more efficient if I were just left on my own is just that, an idea. This idea that if I had all the time that I spend on kids and husband and house and prayer, life would be easier, better, less crazy, is just that, an idea that is not my reality. In reality, it is all those "things" and more that make up my wonderful, full, chaotic, fun Catholic way of life. It is all those "things" and people that make me love the journey and I wouldn't trade any of it for all the peace and quiet in the world. And, just sayin', I MISS MY KIDS.