Thursday, January 30, 2014

Many Discoveries On Pilgrimage

During this Month of Pilgrimage, I have discovered:

1. I mean well but well, I have a difficult time following through. Just found an email from my friend at The Shrine of Christ's Passion where I was supposed to send a donation for Christmas in memory one of of my mother's best friends. Well shoot. I have to do that tomorrow.

2. Funerals make me cry and I know the loved one is in a better place. I know. But, no matter how old or how sick or how tragic, that person was someone's mother or father or child or friend and for those who will miss them, I cry.

3. I am good every day from about 5 A.M. to 6 ... A.M. Sometimes 6:30. And, I have a good little time from 8 A.M. to 8:30 A.M. This has been a harsh finding on my journey. I thought I was headed in the right direction. Ya know. Toward Sainthood. (ha ha wishful thinking) But, as I write each morning and pray and reflect, I realize that once others rise and shine and enter into my zone, I'm awful all over again. To this I say, thank you Lord for giving me a brand new chance every day. Thank You for Mercy and unconditional Love. And, tomorrow, I'll start all over again.

4. I have always admitted that I'm just not a good parent like other parents and all I can do is pray for my children and leave the rest to the Almighty. Which, some of that is true, but... I was speaking with Mary last week, the typical request for her to hold my children in Her Mantle, and I said, "What do you want from me?" Suddenly, as clear as a bell, (I don't hear voices, don't worry) I heard in my heart, "Just be their mother. Just be their mother." For the first time ever, and I have been a mom for 25 years, I did not say, "I'm not good at that." As a matter of fact I just said, "well, okay then" took my walking papers and left. (It's not as easy as it sounds, just sayin)

5. I tend to put a lot of balls in the air at one time. I am realizing how important the people who help me in my day to day tasks really are. It is important to allow others to do their job and let them help when they are able.

6. I love doing things for people or making other people's day but where I fall short is that I love to be recognized for it, thanked, patted on the back, see the smiles. I realize that is a part of being human but help me let it go already. Who cares who gets the credit or the recognition as long as people are better because of the work? I really need to grow up.

7. This month of pilgrimage is coming to an end. Where in the world did the month of January go? I have enjoyed the daily journeys in my own neighborhood, my own home, my own workplace despite the bitter cold. It has been very enlightening. I have loved the people Christ has sent to walk with me and hope that I can be more aware everyday of those He continues to send. Why are they here with me? What am I to do for them? There are no chance encounters. Pay attention. Be aware. Enjoy the journey and more importantly discover all He has to give. We do not walk alone.

Picture: my mother's artwork Jean Dortch

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